Saturday, July 4, 2015

Things you don't want to say to new parents

1. Your baby is beautiful, I wonder where they get it from?

2. Looks like someone's gained some weight... I mean the baby, the baby's gained weight.

3. I can't recall the baby's name.  Also is it a boy or girl?  I can't remember that either and I can't really tell from looking at it.

4. Wow, I didn't think you would stay married for longer than three months and now you guys have a baby.  That's great, you sure proved me wrong.

5. Honestly all baby's are ugly to me, it's not just your baby.  Frankly, I think they smell and are just disgusting.

6. I think he will grow out of his baby face.  He won't look like that forever.  I'm sure it's gonna get better.

7. If you need baby photos done, there is some creepster on Craigslist doing pics for free, just trying to get the word out.  You might want to look into it.  He mentioned doing "special pictures" so I am sure baby photos would fit into that category.

8. So does she do any tricks or anything?  I don't know why people get so excited about babies, it seems like they just sit there and do nothing all day.

9. Talk about baby fat, that thing is huge!  Looks like you got yourself a future sumo wrestler.

10. I did not see you guys having kids.  You just don't seem like children people.  In fact I actually thought you hated children and would hurt them if you could.  Yet here we are.

No comments: