If I were a Bear

Life would be so grand if I were a bear. I would be able to go around and eat all of my enemies and it wouldn't be murder.  I guess it might be but I would be able to get away pretty easily.  Bears don't have addresses so they would never find me.  Also bears look alike so even if they did find me it might not be me. I don't really have any enemies at this point so I won't worry about that for now.  Also I could finally eat out of the garbage without getting strange looks from my neighbors. I told them that I thought there was some more Pizza in the box, but I was wrong and so were they for judging me.  Luckily that happened years ago and I don't think I would do that again.  Also I could hire myself out as an assassin. I would eat people for money, now we're talking, no more of the crap I currently do.  Also if I were a bear I would roam without pants similar to what I do on Saturday mornings in my living room. I think since I am not a bear, what I really want is a pet bear that I can train to run my errands.  I love Saturdays and I like bears. Bless you bears, and try not to eat anymore people I like you crazy bunch of perverts.