Wednesday, July 1, 2015

10 More Things You Don't Want To Hear On A Blind Date

1. I know we've been talking for about an hour now but what's your name again?  I date a lot of girls so it's really hard to keep track, I guess that just shows I'm popular.

2. So you mentioned your dad is rich right?  Because I am looking for a girl who can afford me.

3. I am glad we were set up like this.  I was told you weren't very attractive, but appearances aren't important to me at all.

4. Now that we're wrapping things up I just had to say I really like you.  At this point I have two choices, I can stalk you or you can go out with me again.  Which one would you prefer?

5. I am not used to being fully clothed like this.  This is something very foreign to me.

6. Some people say I am cheap, but I like to think of it as thrifty.  When we head back to my place I can show you the two couches I found on the side of the road.

7. I hope you can afford this.  I am a big eater.  

8. Girls who don't go out with me after the first date often end up with slashed tires and keyed cars.  Just wanted to throw that out there before we call it a night.

9. I often call the suicide hotline...I just can't handle another rejection so I hope you and I work out.

10. I hope you don't mind but I brought my cat with me tonight.  I can't go anywhere without him.

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