Halloween Costume Ideas

It's Halloween again, the holiday that comes every year. Everytime she rolls around I get excited because I know I will get free candy from strangers that I most likely can eat, but angry at the same time because I don't like wearing make-up. I don't know what it is, but I hate dressing up. I like me and I don't want to pretend I am someone else. I like me too much to betray the trust I have built with myself so I choose not to dress up, well at least conventionally. So if you are like me and dislike putting on costumes and make up and such then this post is for you. Below you will find a list of costumes that really don't require all the dressing up and such.

1. Just an ordinary person - No one ever says I am going to be an ordinary person this year, this is one is the easiest and one of my favorites, cause it requires such little effort, but you can still get the free candy and theres nothing anyone can do about it.

2. Local town pervert - I know it sounds creepy and that is because it is, but as long as you don't go overboard with it you can get away with it. All you have to do is yell out hey baby a lot and stare. I would only recommend this one for non-married guys. Just a thought.

3. Twin - If you have a twin they are going to do whatever you do, so this requires no effort at all. Another one of my favorites.

4. Simpson character - They have some many now that no one remembers all of them, so just make up a name and go with it.

5. Robber - just stick your hand in your jacket pocket and say you have a gun. I did that last year and suprisingly got more candy then I have ever gotten in my entire life. It was amazing. Strangely enough the block got put on lock down though so we had to go in early. Oh well.

Well there you have it. There are several good ideas for you non dressers that still want to get out there and go for some big candy scores. I wish you well, but if you are in my neighborhood I am going as a twin tonight so don't take that idea please. Anyway have fun and as always happy Halloween. Bless us all.

LET ME BE MYSELF

Well it has been a while since I have written on this thing and for that I am sorry, but it really wasn't my fault this time. I know I have said that a lot of times to a lot of people like to that guy that I hit in the parking lot multiple times or to my parents or my wife. Anyway this time it really wasn't my fault cause appartently I offended someone over at google and they banned me for 3-6 months. Stupid jerks................. just kidding Bill I don't want to offend you again even though you take things too seriously sometimes, I know that I am on probation with you guys right now so again I was kidding. Anyway life has been good. I did get that stupid swine flu. That sucked pretty bad, but at least I am now immune and I did cough into a jar just in case someone really makes me angry in the next few months. Anyway more posts are now on the way

Good Quotes Changed For the Better

There are a lot of good quality quotes out there, but they can always be changed for the better. So I took some good quotes and did just that, changed them to make them much much better. Enjoy!!

Answers Below

1. A bird in the hand is worth _______________

Answer: less, unless it can talk

2. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and_________________

Answer: I hope you die in your sleep

3. Laughter is the best_______

Answer: way to take money from others

4. Be careful what you ask for, you may___________

Answer: not get it and be disappointed on your birthday and/or Christmas

5. Do not leave for tomorrow, what you can ____________

Answer: do next week or have someone else do for you for free

6. Dogs are a mans best ______________

Answer: chance of finding a bomb hidden somewhere in their home

Bonus - My Own Special Quote

7. It's not stealing if no one knows it's gone

Children are our future................to fighting immigration

I know that illegal immigration is a heated issue that we deal with in this country, and although we can complain, really we have no one to blame but ourselves. Immigrants normally do the jobs that we don't want to do or won't do because we are "too good to do those jobs." I feel the same way as most people, in that I know I am too good to do those jobs, but they do them and are happy to do them. But you know who isn't too good to do them, children. Maybe not mine and maybe not yours, but somewhere in the heart of America are kids who would do these lower paying jobs and sometimes for even lower then the illegal immigrants. Don't blame me I never voted for child labor laws, I think the parents should decide, I mean after all they are the ones who own them til their 18. I love the song about the children being the future, but can't they be the present as well. And really by allowing those laws to be overturned we could really crank up the economy. Parents with a lot of kids could use that money that their kids earn on whatever they want. Well I know I don't have all the answers just the right ones. Think on that.

P.S. I know I am super smart and should run for president, but I am not old enough, maybe next year.

5 Great Quotes by Jacob

Quote 1
I love people - Some I love cause they are my family, some I love cause they are my friends, then everyone else I love because I can possibly make money off of them.

Quote 2
Some people say that if they had a chance to do life over again they wouldn't change a thing, well those people must have never gotten kicked in the shorts. If I were them I would change that many times over.

Quote 3
There are 2 types of people in this world, girls and boys, but sometimes I can't tell which is which.

Quote 4
The trick to being happy isn't just having a lot of nice things, it also involves showing those things off to others who might not have them.

Quote 5
I joke a lot, which makes life fun, except at funerals. But, I think I have finally learned my lesson and I will not make jokes at any more funerals so looks like I can go to another one really soon.

What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

When we were younger we all wanted to be firefighters or princesses or policemen or race car drivers or basketball stars or all the fun things in this world, when we grew up, but as we now see many of us are not those things. Some of us are, but many of us are not. I write this not as a sad bit of news but really to advertise my new business.

I will charge by the hour and I don't take breaks. I am here for you. My new life coach program will help you out of that rut that you are in. I started this new venture because one day I thought, how can I help people and take their money without stealing it? That is how most of my ideas start to be honest. Anyway the answer was clear and it was this: My new life coach program.

What I get:

1. Satisfaction of helping and if things go wrong I have a signed waiver from you
2. Loads and Loads of Money - Preferrable Cash, but check and credit card are okay too.

What you get:

1. First of all I think Guarantees aren't the best policy
2. I won't sign any type of contract
3. Possible effects could include getting what you really want or loss of money
4. You might have to weed my yard for free, don't read the contract just sign it

P.S. Oh and by the way I wanted to be a life coach when I grew up.

P.S.S. Again I do charge by the hour

P.S.S.S. I really could be a life coach if I wanted and so could you, this article was just for your entertainment I am really not starting a life coaching business unless someone asks me too in which case all of the previous statements will apply.

Crazy Thoughts from Crazy People aka ME

Do you ever just drive around just to try and see if you can get into a car accident and sue the other driver for money. If so why don't we get together. I will call you and tell you where I will be and you can do the same and we can run into eachother. I do this all the time, but it never works well. I don't want it to be my fault so I try and wait until someone will hit me, but it never happens and if it is both of our faults then I think the insurance company takes resposibility right? Anyway this is just one of the many ideas I have thought about in the past year. For me the engine is running and someone is behind the wheel. Serious Inquiries Only.