Monday, June 22, 2015

Things you don't want to hear on a blind date

1. Look at you, you don't look as bad as I thought you would.

And so after they found me legally insane all the charges were dismissed.  Now I can cross the state line without any issues.

3. I've been divorced 6 times, but I think you and I could work.

4. I can play the star spangled banner with my arm pit, cool huh?

5. Great news my parents will be joining us tonight as well.

Just so we're clear up front it's gonna be 75 dollars for the first hour then 50 for every additional hour.

Oh no I accidentally forgot my wallet can you cover this meal and I'll get the next one.

My therapist said I need to try and meet new people since most of my friends are imaginary.

9. Looks like you didn't shave, well neither did I.

10. I don't have many shots left so I'm gonna go for it, will you marry me?

1 comment:

Dave Bahney said...

You wouldnt have a second date with that woman, lol