How I motivate myself

There are lots of motivations in this world. A gun pointed at my head would get me moving and a breakfast sandwich would get me working, but for those times when I am feeling down talking to someone really helps. It's not just anyone, but there are people in this world that really know how to listen. For me it is myself, no one listens to me better then I do. After a while people seem to get tired of my rambling, but not me, I can sit and talk to myself for hours on end. Just this evening I replayed a movie in my head. Dumb and Dumber is a great show isn't it, I would say as we were watching together. (Me and ME, movie playing in my head). We make jokes together and laugh for hours. You are really only alone if you kill your soul and although I think I have tried the both of us are still going strong.

Now I know what you are thinking right now, you are probably thinking great post jerk face this has nothing to do with the title of the post, but sadly you are wrong my friend. Most of us if we needed something done and only had a few minutes we would light a fire or call the police, describe ourselves as an assailant and work really hard to be gone when they got there, thus completing the very task that needs to get done. And yes this is very motivating, but one mistake could be costly to the pervert you described aka YOU. Now I know that some people think I am a genious and although tests have partially confirmed this, I don't want that kind of thing getting to my head, but I would like to share my secret to motivation and yes again it is me. Everyone knows your soul is really the strong one. You can be so self motivating that all the prank phone calls to the cops or the self help books that you overpay for won't be needed any longer. No more going to the many therapists you have gone to since you were a kid, because your parents thought you were crazy and said Jacob this is for your own good, all that can be tossed in the garbage including the thyroid medicine--toss that in there too. I am my own doctor now and the only medicine I need is self subscribed. So really this is the secret: each and everyday I look myself in the mirror and tell the person looking back at me how much better I am than them. I say, hey if I wanted I could kill you and you would be gone. Now I don't take it overboard to where it is scary--I have a couple of times and holy crap that is wild stuff. I keep it intense for sure, but tasteful. I say over and over I am better then you and you know it. By the time I am done I feel awesome like I can do anything I ever wanted to do. All because I decided to take control of my own mind and live like I was dying or going to die because of what has been said in the mirror. Then at the end of the day I patched things up between the two of us, that is when we laugh and laugh a lot. (Me and ME again). I want to make sure I sleep well and I am not scared something is going to happen, but as always the morning comes and I am back at it again.

Well that's it, that's the big one. The big secret to my success and the reason I am me. Anyway enjoy your next meal. Peace I'm outta here.