Well what can I say I love to joke, but probably I shouldn't do it all the time. I always do though that is the problem with me. I am never serious, my wife loves it though. She always says you are gonna get it one of these days. I already do get it and if it is the it I am thinking of, I think me joking all the time makes her really happy. Often I will even forget the stories I have told and then that kind of makes them lies. That is how an untrue story turns into a lie. Really a lie isn't a lie until you forget that you told it and then it all goes down hill from there. I can't really help it though. I love to laugh. I don't care if I am the only one who is laughing I think it is great. Okay here are a few things you can say that can and should make you laugh.
1. When getting your pictures taken with the family or by yourself tell the photographer you are a little nervous and that you haven't ever done this before, then in about 15 or 20 seconds unzip your pants and ask them if this is when you are supposed to take your pants off. I do this to every photographer wherever I am at and whoever I am with. It makes pictures not suck so much. When they laugh or look at you strangely just ask them seriously if they have ever filmed anyone naked. I think it is a standard question. If they are photographing me then I just want to know what they are thinking as they are taking the pictures.
2. If I am in a hurry and my 2 oldest boys are dragging their feet at getting dressed or eating then I tell them that there is only enough room for one of them to go or only enough desert for one of them. I think it is really funny to watch them and see how fast they can get dressed or eat if they think they are going to miss out on something. They get kind of mad at me at the end when I tell them I was just kidding, but it sure gets the job done. I can't wait til my infant son is older so he can join in my fun. And don't worry all that crap we hear about trust issues is only on the mothers side. JUST KIDDING, just about the trust issues not about what I do to my kids.
3. People dying is always a popular one, but probably not appropriate to joke about, but most people would probably say I am not very appropriate anyway. Whenever someone I know asks about someone that has just gotten out of the hospital or had a major operation or something like that one of my favorite lines to use is, they didn't make it. And I love it when it is in a crowd cause then someone else will say what he didn't make it? Then after a minute or so of chatting I say oh no I just meant they didn't make it today. Sorry they're not dead, just not here with us. Some people get upset about this one and although I could stop using this line, I have no plans to do so. You wouldn't give up one of your kids if you had to keep the rest of them just like I won't give up my lines cause I am going to keep the rest of them. Anyway use at your own risk. I used it the other day on some kids at church with the wife and baby and really it was very comical. For those of you who think I am going to hell I ask you to compare me with Hitler, Sadam and a handful of others and realize I am still a nice guy compared to them.
Well that should give you a few good ideas for the week. I hope you use them and enjoy them. Bless you all and goodbye til next time.
PS Next time I will tell you a story about my friend and his shorts. Good story you will enjoy it.
2 comments:
Thanks Colvin, Ill try it out and let you know. Oh and I found your business card under my bed, dont know how that got there, anyway take care.
No Problem, and yes everyone will find a business card under their bed, it's standard procedure.
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